Thoughts (& Jokes) on CBS / Grammy Dress Code

I could have risked publishing a manic mess with my many thoughts over the leaked CBS Standards & Practices email to music stars and insiders. (Cue nerves and a lot of time / work.) Days of pondering specifics of the new Grammy dress code, from protest to wish list and beyond, sidetracked me from my planned couture fantasies. I’ve been angered and Inspired by – what I’ll call – “1 Shade of Gray’s Anatomy;” combined with a vague free-advertising ban; totaling a policy more conservative than grocery stores, modern non-cable prime-time and even 80s MTV (Cher, Cher, Cher, as seen in this article).

Beyonce Super Bowl costume problematic

It’s going to be difficult to not be “problematic.” (It’s been wondered whether Beyoncé’s costume with “smooth” side-crotch would be too risky for CBS.)

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could  possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.

I now realize it’s a slippery slope to the burka shop.
Sadly, a lot of Internet commenters agree with banning skin. They also align music’s trend of “sexiness” with a lack of talent instead of things like art, freedom, America, good self image, and free fucking speech.

Please no one forget what else is banned: organized messages… What’s next? (And is it even clear what that means?) Musicians aren’t supposed to be the same as actors (often pretty performers with one to three skills) many are writers passionate to express, first and foremost (believe it or not – and vocal gymnasts or not).

This is quite unfortunate in my eyes. The taboo of nudity is fallacy. 

Recent CBS rules are decades stale. What’s long been standard attire in performance and dance – say, leotards – are now “problematic” (especially in modern cuts) and shunned.

Furthermore, what used to be “just” a worry and embarrassment for female stars, see-through tops, will now be more of a “shame” and frequently blamed on women (paparazzi should feel the brunt of such backlash, in most cases).

If this is a ploy to get eyes on the tube hoping for funny or sensible objection, if not titillating (or horrifying) rebellion, I just hope a little anti-authority is what we get. I don’t mind crafty marketing if it delivers an entertaining show.

Not all music need be visual, but this visual industry can result in repelling audio (like the screechy instrumentals of 2012) and this year the Grammy’s can use a boost, not more letdown.

Quotes and details as leaked to
Beyoncé photos from Zap2It.

Now, to lighten the mood, some jokes:

- Elle Laurel Rose

Posted in Fashion Arts, Pop Culture Tagged   < Feminism >     < Free Speech >     < Grammys >     < Humor >     < Rant >  

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