Strangest Sartorial Shit Grammy-Banned:
“Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts.”
- Tank tops OK?
- “J’adore Dior” tee definitely banned (although easily translated). Poor Carrie Bradshaw, that
“… [S]heer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples.”
- Elbow nipples are OK.
- I’m unsure about dresses and tops that are sheer or see-through, yet not both. What is this powerful combination (“sheer see-through”) anyway?
- Areola’s good, right?
“Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic.”
- No side boob(!) and, by 2018, no ankles?
- Awww, under-boob is so pretty! (Not.)
- I guess cropping off that “J’adore Dior” t-shirt above “Dior” will not cut it. (Har harrr, puns!)
- Only top areola, please.
“Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible ‘puffy’ bare skin exposure.”
- I suppose if an older female
musician“tarty hack” (apparently) were planning vaginal/labial rejuvenation she should postpone or cancel. Only puffy nude crotch is banned, after all, so she would have one less worry.
- Apparently this letter was not officially sanctioned or even necessarily sent by a copywriter (quel shock) but still I can mention these guys love reduntantastic redundant base covering. (At least this was not in Legalese, which would be impossible to adhere to anyway, as it’s farther from English than Chinese.)
“Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack.”
- Silly me, however polite and fluid “please” is I still thought more ass would be more “avoid”-able and a little ass just problematic. Clearly, I’m the nutty one.
- Regardless, “problematic” is my new gigglefit word and I request all the memes!